Where are you...

I have a family, in fact I have a few family's and they love me but none of them are my birth family. I have an adoptive family, and 2 foster family's, yes I know they love me very much and I love them too but it's still not the same as having your birth family. When I look at most of my friends, I see how alike they and their parents are, but I don't have that. I see how they have many things in common, they like the same things, they hate the same things and they look similar; but I don't have that. If ever I have anything in common with either my adoptive family or my foster families, no matter how much I love them all, I always get that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that says " you don't have these things in common because its genetic, its just a coincidence." I wish I could have things in common with a mother, father, brother or sister, things that aren't just a coincidence, things that are genetic, hopefully some day I will find her and that gaping hole in my heart with go away, but until that happens, even if it never happens, I still love all my other families...

and now its all out in the open...

It will never be the same, I know you don't believe me or won't even listen cuz I know you won't take my side but it wasn't my fault, I'm not placing the blame on anyone, but I couldn't stay there. If I did I would have ended up seriously hurting myself, like I tried on many occasions due to the stress and hurt put on me by my living situations. It was best for everyone but I guess you will never really see it that way but rather as a betrayal. I really don't appreciate all of you ganging up on me, but unfortunately there's very little that i can do...